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OCD app

ROCD or Wrong relationship: How do I know?

ROCD is characterized by obsessive thoughts and doubts about one’s romantic relationship. These doubts can stem from various aspects, such as the partner’s feelings, compatibility, or attraction. People with ROCD often engage in compulsive behaviors (e.g., seeking reassurance, checking feelings) to alleviate their anxiety.

When I met Alex, we hit it off right away. Our conversations flowed effortlessly, and we shared many interests and values. Despite the great connection we had, I couldn’t help but be plagued by doubts about our relationship from the very beginning. I was aware of Relationship Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (ROCD) and its symptoms, which made me question whether my doubts were genuine or simply a manifestation of ROCD.

These doubts created a constant state of inner turmoil. On one hand, I felt a deep connection with Alex, and on the other, I was unsure if we were truly meant to be together. The more I tried to understand my feelings, the more confused I became. I would ask myself questions like, “Is this love, or am I just convincing myself that it is?” and “Are we truly compatible, or are my concerns a result of ROCD?”

I found myself overanalyzing every aspect of our relationship, searching for signs that would either validate or invalidate my doubts. My mind would race with thoughts of our future, questioning if we could overcome obstacles and build a life together. This constant uncertainty made it difficult for me to fully enjoy the present moments with Alex and left me feeling emotionally drained.

I felt trapped in a cycle of doubt and confusion, unsure if my concerns about our relationship were valid or if they were simply a product of ROCD. This internal struggle led to a sense of isolation, as I didn’t know how to communicate these feelings to Alex or anyone else. I felt stuck in a conundrum, unable to differentiate between genuine concerns and the potential influence of ROCD.

Tudor D.

The ROCD challenge

Distinguishing between ROCD and genuine relationship concerns can be challenging for several reasons:

  1. Overlapping symptoms: Both ROCD and genuine relationship concerns can involve doubts, insecurities, and anxiety about the relationship. This overlap in symptoms can make it difficult to determine the root cause of these feelings.
  2. Emotional intensity: Relationships often evoke strong emotions, making it hard to objectively assess the situation. The emotional intensity associated with both ROCD and genuine concerns can blur the lines between the two, leading to confusion.
  3. Normalcy of doubts: It is natural for people to experience doubts and concerns in any relationship. Since some level of uncertainty is expected, it can be challenging to differentiate between normal doubts and those stemming from ROCD.
  4. Internal struggle: People with ROCD may be hesitant to accept that their doubts are a result of a mental health condition rather than genuine concerns. This internal struggle can further complicate the process of distinguishing between the two.
  5. Confirmation bias: Individuals with ROCD may be more likely to notice and focus on the aspects of their relationship that confirm their doubts, leading them to believe that their concerns are valid. This confirmation bias can make it difficult to recognize when the thoughts and feelings are actually symptoms of ROCD.
  6. Lack of awareness: Many people are not familiar with ROCD, so they may not consider it as a possible explanation for their doubts and concerns. Without knowledge of the condition, it becomes even more challenging to identify the true source of these feelings.

Here are some signs that may indicate ROCD

  1. Obsessive thoughts: If you find yourself constantly ruminating about your relationship, even when you’re not with your partner, it could be a sign of ROCD.
  2. Compulsive behaviors: Engaging in repetitive behaviors (e.g., seeking reassurance from others, checking feelings) to reduce anxiety might suggest ROCD.
  3. Interference with daily life: If your doubts are affecting your ability to function in daily life (e.g., work, social interactions), it could be a symptom of ROCD.
  4. Excessive focus on “flaws”: People with ROCD may magnify their partner’s imperfections, obsessing over them and questioning the relationship’s viability.
  5. Past patterns: If you’ve experienced similar doubts and obsessions in previous relationships, it could indicate a pattern of ROCD.

In contrast, typical relationship concerns usually arise from specific issues or situations and don’t involve the same level of obsessive thoughts or compulsive behaviors.

Ultimately, it’s crucial to consult a mental health professional, such as a therapist or psychologist, to help you determine whether your doubts are due to ROCD or genuine concerns. They can provide guidance, support, and potential treatment options for your specific situation.

The old way

ocd.app

Cost

 $$$ – Therapist costs

 $ – Save money

Evidence

No published evidence

13 published studies

Time burden

Long term

3-4 minutes of your day

Results

Takes months

91% see first results within a week

Privacy

Privacy concerns

Anonymous and private

User feedback

Mixed

4.8 / 5.0 (2,635 reviews)

Be kind to your mind, try it:

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OCD app

ROCD: 4 tips for living with a person who has Relationship OCD

“I have lived with my partner for four years, and during that time they have been diagnosed with ROCD. It has been really tough at times, as they are constantly doubting our relationship and questioning whether they are really in love with me.

This has led to them breaking up with me several times, even though they always end up coming back. It’s been really tough trying to deal with their ROCD, as it feels like they are constantly doubting my love for them.

I have tried to be understanding and patient, but it can be really difficult when they are constantly questioning my feelings.

I know that they are just trying to make sure that they are really in love with me, but it can be really tough to deal with. I am really hoping that we can find a way to deal with their ROCD, as it is really taking a toll on our relationship.

I know that they are just trying to do what is best for them, but it is really hard to deal with. I am hoping that we can find a way to overcome this so that we can have a happy and healthy relationship.”

Emma G, Minneapolis, MN.

If you’re in a relationship with someone who suffers from ROCD (Relationship OCD), you know that it can be tough. Here are some tips for living with ROCD:

1. Communicate openly and honestly.
This is probably the most important thing you can do. If your partner is fixated on a certain thought or worry, be open to hearing about it. Don’t try to fix the problem, just listen and be supportive.

2. Be patient.
ROCD can be a very frustrating condition, both for the sufferer and the partner. It’s important to remember that your partner is not choosing to be this way, and they are likely doing the best they can.

3. Encourage your partner to seek professional help.
If the ROCD is severe, it may be necessary to seek professional help. This can be a difficult decision, but ultimately it may be the best thing for both of you.

4. Take care of yourself. It’s important to remember that you cannot control or fix your partner’s ROCD.
You can only control how you react to it. Make sure to take care of yourself emotionally and mentally, and don’t hesitate to reach out to friends or family for support.

The old way

ocd.app

Cost

 $$$ – Therapist costs

 $ – Save money

Evidence

No published evidence

13 published studies

Time burden

Long term

3-4 minutes of your day

Results

Takes months

91% see first results within a week

Privacy

Privacy concerns

Anonymous and private

User feedback

Mixed

4.8 / 5.0 (2,635 reviews)

Be kind to your mind, try it:

Be kind to your mind, try it:

Categories
OCD app

Prof. Guy Doron answers your ROCD questions

This week, GGtude co-founder and CSO Prof. Guy Doron participated as a panelist in International OCD Foundation’s special event about Relationship OCD.

Join IOCDF lead advocate Chris Trondsen, MS, AMFT, APCC and panelists Prof. Guy Doron, Dr. Danny S. Derby, and Zoe Homonoff as they discuss Relationship OCD (ROCD) and answer your questions.

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OCD app

I have doubts about my relationship. Is it normal?

Doubt is a defensive mechanism. Its purpose is to warn and protect us from mistakes and danger. A good balance between confidence and doubt ensures we can operate in this world freely and happily, and maintain a healthy relationship.

However, some people find it much more common to be unsure about things that for others can be more straightforward. For example, we can get preoccupied or obsessed about our partner, spouse or loved ones. This obsessive behaviour and thinking can prevent us from seeing clearly and making the right choices. Instead of protecting us, it can damage our relationships and our well being.

How do I know if I have ROCD?

Worrying, having doubts or even being preoccupied with a particular relationship does not automatically suggest a diagnosis of a relationship obsession.

Like other OCD symptoms, relationship-related OCD symptoms require psychological intervention only when causing significant distress and are incapacitating. Assessing ROCD symptoms, however, is further complicated by the fact that such experiences, even if distressing, may still be a part of the normal course of a still developing relationship, mainly during the flirting and dating stages of a relationship, or reflect real life problems.

ROCD and the OCD app

When we developed the app, we decided to focus on beliefs as a catalyst for changing maladaptive behaviours. Beliefs are interesting: We often forget about them, but they sit there in the back of our minds and control us, making us respond in specific ways to various stimuli.

Our app is focused on helping people improve their condition whether they have normal doubts or if they suffer from Relationship OCD.

Research shows training for 3-5 minutes a day can benefit users by reducing symptoms and challenging beliefs that hinder judgement.